While waiting for ms.sandy to send me pixie, I’ve got some time to check out my long abandoned friendster messages. There’s 983 calling up. xD Im not even 30% through xD
So since im free, awhile. While flipping the pages, I laughed.
I shall do a review on what I see =D
Here I present to you:
The 10 Categories of Messages you'll probably Bump Into in your Friendster inbox:
Category 1 : FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD:
Subject : Fwd : Fwd : Fwd : Something cool!
Message: Once you read this you cant get out,
finish reading this, do as i say.
I am Freddy Minosa. I am a ghost
If you don't send this to at least 15
people,
I will come to your house at midnight
and I’ll hide in your cabinet.
When you are sleeping, i will come out
and eat you alive.
don't believe me?
Case 1:
Teo hwee choo
she read this but she did not send it
to any one.
she thought that it is a joke
and she is not with us anymore
i ate her alive
Case 2: . . . 3 ... 4…5…
After reading it, I didn’t send it to anyone. I guess im gonna die tonight, and become Case 6.
So people, forward this in advance for me :
Subject : Fwd : Fwd : The Meaning Behind I Love You.
Message: Once you read this you cant get out,
finish reading this, do as i say.
I am Looi Vienna. I am a ghost,
If you don't send this to at least 15 500
people,
I will come to your house at midnight
and I’ll hide in your cabinet kitchen.
When you are sleeping, i will come out
and eat you alive all your chocolates alive.
U will be crying, so sad that you'll hang yourself to death,
and you will not be with us them anymore.
Be with me! We'll eat chocolates together! Muahaha.
Category 2: Shakespeare.
X1 wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out X1's profile and send a reply.
A message from X1:
I'm sending this smile to u, hoping that it will brighten up
Cause for so long I’ve been looking for a girl like u to come into my life. U know I cant resist
You’re everything I’ve tried to find. U mind giving me the direction to
Directions:
A message from X2:
You don't need fancy jewelry
To make me fall for you.
You don't need a lot of makeup,
To cause me to pursue.
You don't need clothes from Gucci
To make me like you more.
You do not need to put on airs
To make my passions soar.
All you need is honesty,
And a smiling face;
Sincerity and loyalty,
And a warm embrace.
Cheers,
X2.
Subject : For u..
A message from X3:
You're the whisper of a summer breeze.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm into you. Will u be my bao bei??
Not in this life, definitely, but maybe next life, I've got no choice but to be turn into a sperm and emerge as the Champion in Swimming and got no choice but to be reborn as yours, then maybe.
Category 3 : Fungi Bacteria Insect
Subject: hi
A message from X4:
Hi!
How's life?
What u doing presently?
May I ask;
what is your favourite flowers, favourite food, favourite music?
What do u do for free time?
What's your favourite hangout?
What's u hobbies?
I normally hangout at midvalley shopping mall, cybercafe and I work as director at jln ampang...
Can i call u to chat in person?
Noh u cant,sry.
Category 4 : A Very quick question.
Subject : Hi
A message from X5:
Hey there,
just wanna ask u a quick question.
are u single?
Subject: x6
Message: hallo...lke to meert u?????u got play msn o not??? i wan ply u..
U wan ply me ar???? Gaeutt.. my high score is 1000!! U lerh???
Case 6 : Send in your resume, I'm now hiring!
I am X7.
Age: 20
168cm
68kg
frm kuala lumpur
interests : music,singing,guitar, keyboard,badminton,stamps
wanna b friends?
A message from x8: I like mountain hiking, running, badminton, gym, jogging, swimming, music, movies,
I like pink rose...
favourite food is eastern food,
favourite music is pop, classical, jazz, religious...
I look forward to develop friendships with u.
Subject: pls reply me....
Message: Hi, im X9 from kl.
I am a CEO.
Running own business in
Hope to be friend with u.
Pls contact me 0126530852.
Wait
Case 7 : Kai Jia
Subject: hi?
Message: u are that girl with kai jia in the Cafe that day rite?? and the one tat always longkang in the bowling alley rite?? izzit?? if not.. then it is me recognize wrongly liao.. =(
anyway hi!
Hahahaha Longkang xDD I don't okay! I play veli good wan...
Jia!!! Who is that? I don't remember xDD
Nway, it's really long time since he sent and that I read it. Might as well forget bout it.
Case 8 : Pysduck? Psy Psy Psy? I'm so confused too
Subject: X9 has sent you a smile.
Message: X9 wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out X9's profile and send a reply.
A message from X10:
Hey! What's the meaning behind your name? Your grand father is mozzart's friend? Besides, i dont recognize which one is you in the pic... kekeke...
Subject: u
A message from X11: can i make friens with
Case 9 : Tiu Kai
Subject: hi
Message: hi hi
I'am Chris From Setapak Kuala Lumpur
Chinese Male
You are so cute gal..
Nice To meet u
Im so down, cause jus broke up wt GF
I'm So desperate now
Im Looking for Soulmate n SEx Partner as well
I can Pay Money if u wan ask for it..
I'm waiting for yr reply.........
The heck? * Pui Pui Pui Pui Pui Pui Pui Pui Pui Pui *
Go Geylang larh!!
I pity his gf larh. Have to do it for FREE.
Looking on the bright side, At least i'm worth that he wants to PAY me!
In comparison to his Ex gf.
xD
Category 10 : Of flatters.
That do not work.
Some tips for the Guys to learn this up:
Lesson 1 : Learn how to Spell correctly.
Example:-
Subject: hey.
Message: prety girl.mid intro..?
Lesson 2 : U think ur cool? We don't think so.
Example :-
Subject: Yo yo! Wassup?!
Message: heyz u wassup...lol wow ure pics are really nice like really nice hehe and beautiful....u look like a nice person i hope cool too since i'm cool too haha, of course i would want to meet u too! lol...hope we can chat more in msn u look like such an interesting person..so dun forget to gimme ure msn addy hehe!...and hey i think frenship and love and experience have no age boundry...haha u decide...hit me back! peace out yo!
Note : He's a Ah Pek. HipHop-wannabe summore. Act ur age kay? Anyhow,he can go play the Yoyo! Doesn't require much movement.
Lesson 3 : Girls prefer it when you look into the personality which reflects Inner Beauty rather than going Gaga over Outer Beauty.
Tell me, after 50 years, will you still look the same as of now?
If your love is for mere beauty, a shallow outer layer of epidermal cells, I'd say you are shallow.
Eat cells for lunch la! U love it wut xD
Examples of how a better flatter would be:
Subject : Greetings.
Message : Hello! how are you doing? Hope you are fine over there.
I was just surfing through the net when i got attracted by the content of your profile. Well my name is Y1 from kl cheras hope you dont mind being friends,hope to hear from you soon.
Take care.
By the way ure parents are of an exquisite taste, can see that by the name they gave u ;)
and i will be glad to teach u abit about guitar that i know for free :p. and also vocal if u got the voice :)
Y2.
Subject :
Message : I notice that from the photos, u can be really funny, cheerful and humurous. hahaha. I find these personality quite attractive..A girl like that in a crowd can never be boring right? Always got something happy to talk about.
Hope to get to know u better here and share any common interests..I love movies,music and novels. U? Hope to hear from U in the distant future. Take care and Smile always..
Bye
Subject: Hey.
Message: u look charming.
But Beautiful is a better word than Leng Lui.
Tell me Leng Lui, n these two things will inevitably POP into my mind:
1. Cheena Kia!
2. Very *Mulut berbunga-bunga* Haofafa.
The next time I see u, I'll keep a Constant Displacement from u.
Cause ur already being termed as a playboy.
While complimenting her, here's few more terms for ya :
Stunning, Ravishing, Gorgeous, Attractive, Alluring, Winsome, Magnificent & Lovely.
Lesson 5 : Aiyoh cannot remember? Then say this la =)
"You're so beautiful,
I'd been wanting to find a much more sophisticated word for it, But I just can't seem to find a perfect synonymous word for it, other than You."
Easy?
So are you getting the drift now? How to Strike it the Right way?
I'd be glad if i helped. xD hahaha =D
And a Tip to the girls :
See no touch, Touch no see. See and touch, Pay
Couldn't bare to pay the price nor consequences. So I see & laugh only. So be smart! u can read and laugh ur *piku* off but don't don't get hooked by it and touch the reply button. Unless the few conditions below is satisfied, I'd never reply to any of the messages in friendster (not even those above,im sorry =)):
1. It's by someone I know.
2. Not forwarded/chain/spam/junk shytz.
3. I saw it in time. Not after the 3month anniversary.
The Mighty World Wide Web are of many hoax, personalities and people in disguise.
Be careful~ aye?
Or learn up Jujitsu! *Hoiyak!!*
It's easy how one could've tracked u down, right to your doorsteps:
The horror lingers..
One day, I was studying in my room.. Someone was shouting for my name so loudly from the back of my house..Strange enough, it's not of a voice that I'm familiar of..
Took a peek through the window.. To realise that it was an FBI from friendster>msn.. only to get a message in my phone "I know ur Peeking~~"
Traumatized. I dropped to the floor backing the window's wall. My Heart beated. Faster than ever.
Much thanks to One of the Proud Owner of ur One Stop Gay(Happy) Place- Chong Kok Ken!! for providing the Directions! I feel like Killing him&hisGrandpaUnclesGrandmaPapaAncestorsmom at the moment. But I'd to be thankful that KK was there with me, n 'the guy' wasn't a bad guy. So he didn't bugged me after that. but still he knew where I stayed,n still traumatized by how easily one could've tracked u down. I learnt my lesson.
So Just beware,kay? Maybe in other cases, ppl wont be as lucky.
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