Owh,the marvellous Toilets!

Great Poems.

Source: Toilet Walls and Doors.
Poets: Undefined.

Poem Title: Mighty Finger.

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,c
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Title: A Case of Constipation.

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Title: Lau Sai.

You’re lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Title: Inspirations.

I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

Title: Just spending some time.

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls…

The BEST bathroom graffiti:

[written on the wall behind a toilet]
“When did I eat corn?”

Another Function of Toilets walls: Job Advertisement Space.

1) [Written high upon the wall]
If you can piss above this line, the Fire Department wants you.

2) A Ministry of Environment advertisement.

We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!

Signboard seen all around.

Above a urinal

Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don’t piss in your ashtrays!

On the inside of a toilet door

Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

A sign at a swimming pool bathroom

Welcome to our ool.
Notice there’s no P in it.
Please keep it that way.

Finally..

Sign seen at a restaurant

Why we REALLY shouldn't dirty the toilets. .

The hands that clean these toilets also make your food…

So,people.. Learn your lesson!

Nasihat daripada Cik.Vienna:
Kita mestilah sentiasa membasuh Tangan sehingga bersih-bersih Selepas Keluar daripada Tandas.
Janganlah kita "Termakan semula" "Sisa-sisa" Makanan [yang sudah keluar,berbau tau?]Kelmarin.. atau kelmarin-marin.

*HOW TO TURN YOUR KIDS INTO FOOTBALL JUNKIES IN THE FUTURE*

Ok ok people.. Just Chill kay?
(thanks for the much-needed-urges)

ITS NOW..
*TIME TO REVIVE THE Almighty-BLOG*
Picks up the magic wands.. Casts Resurrection Spell~

Oh great!
Star Sports is tuned on again,right behind me xD
The current situation : 1-1
Match: Manchester United Vs Tottenham
Now,that's quite a big distraction. U know.. [I'll come back later]

50 minutes later.. [comes-back]
INDEED. EXACTLY,what I said! 3-1!
U know.. My match-score predictions can go up to 80% accuracy. hoho!
Well,I told daddy,he didn't wanted to believe me n took Tottenham instead,for the odds is 1:20 IF he wins (Dream a little dream..) and for the fact that ManU handicapped Tottenham 1.5/1.
Well well,his LOST! I tried my best tho..

Ok now,guys.. If u fancy football right..
Here are some tips on :

*HOW TO TURN YOUR KIDS INTO FOOTBALL JUNKIES IN THE FUTURE*

1. Start Young.
-Most suitably 12-15 years old. By then,they should have the Ability to Think,yet having little resilient on what u 'feed'/instill to their young minds.

2. Cultivate the practice of watching football every weekends.
- Tuning on the tv to ESPN/Star Sport consistently is a must. Do not slack in ur effort.

3. The MOST Effective *Tips* of all.
Bribery.

How?
(a) The Pay per Ball Method.
Say this..

- "If U WITNESS a Goal by this team(which u support/bets on),I'll pay u RM10/goal."

(b) Introduce The Commitment Fee.
- Pay extra BONUS if they Cheer/Support Enthusiastically. Or if they pleased u.
(they SHOULD start shouting like lunatics,already..)

- Initially,it burns ur pocket.. but look to the future..far far ahead.. The effects lasts for eternity. I can personally Guarantee you.

Why?
- At first,they would watch for pleasure(simply to fill up time) yet earning big bucks.. With simple task to do- sit & watch.
- They would Cheer need to. Enthusiastically. remember? the Commitment Fee??
- Now,just sit down,lay back,and relax. (The rest happens very much naturally,just like how a Tree grows~)
- Imagine..
One fine Saturday, minimum Two match/channel [2 channels] = 2x2 = 4 match/day.
Then there's Sunday, 4x2= 8 Matches.
One month, 8x4 = 32 Matches.
- It's just a matter of time before..
They start watching too much football.. Blown away by too much knowledge.. Knowing too many teams..and players..

- And develop their own preference team/likings- *Favourite* Football Club.

- *Favourite* Football Club > Fans > Addiction.
- That's exactly How and Why ppl would gather in front of Big Screens.. Asia Cafe.. Laundry Bar.. Come watch Live Telecast on match of the Giants on the Biggest Screen in Town.. sponsored by Tiger FC.
Supporting their own *Teams*

How to tackle that ever-more-famous/typical quote which would induce,even the most fanatic,avid football fans to be inexpressible in words. Suddenly.

"Football is equivalent to 22guys chasing after a ball.
Why don't we just give them each a single ball,so they don't have to fight for O.n.e Miserable Ball? "

Asking that is just like asking:
Since you can eat 10 times a day, why don't you eat 10 times a day?

That's not the way it goes.
IT'S OUR utmost FAVOURITE TEAM+utmost FAVOURITE PLAYER PLAYING THERE. *points* Right there! The skills to watch after.. The tricks they pulled out.. bypassing defenders.. Perfect teamwork.. a Beautiful Pass...to a GOAL!
n of course,undeniably.. Some checking outs on *HOT* Football Player who has the *complete
package* [there,i admit it,for me xD]

VS






After all,It's way nicer on the Eye to watch C.Ronaldo Dribble than Frank Ribery right?
hohoho xD xD woops =#
Tralalala~


Why we cheer?

A GOAL doesn't come easily
Most of the time,there's the Skill Factor,the Luck Factor,the Good Teamwork Factor the understandings between players,the chances,the timings...
That is why those cheers are for! To praise the *Goal*. Like.. a Goal Finally.! How it comes from much hard work.

umm.. Its just very much like just how u would go "Gagaga over (ie)Justin Timberlake.." his looks..his one-of-its-kind,sexy voice.. the way he dances...
Makes sense?

AND,we have the *competition+rivalry* between the TEAMS in the League Table at ALL times. It's Fast & Furious.
Therefore, e.v.e.r.y Point C.o.u.n.t.s IMMENSELY]

Here, you gave them a Good Headstart!

- Now, Congratulations (I have to say) to the Future-Daddy-To-Be!

Note:
1. U no longer need to 'feed' them with money. (Phew,what a relieve right? But to think of it,after all,they are your kids,the money is just *Circulating* around the family)
2. U have accompaniments. No longer,need to,watch alone having a Coke/Popcorn/Chips/Kerepek as the only ones with u.
3. U know u'll Never run out of topics to talk with ur kids.
U have that *bond* together with your kids. Result of a *Passion* u share together.
Something that u guys would love spending time doing together. Watching some Good,Old Football. Classic.

Now,U see.. How great is the Power of football?
Now,who says watching football has no benefits to it?

BE BEWARE:
If there's this *Big Fours* (listed below) playing each other at the same time.
- Manchester United. Arsenal. Liverpool. Chelsea.

Results:
Chaos.

My advice?

1) Get 4 Astro.
After all,50% off on 2nd Decoder right?

2) Lock them up in separate rooms.
To create ZOPFAN- Zone of Peace,Freedom and Neutrality.

3) Or bring a *Ear Plug* + *Eye Mask*.
- Ignore everything following.

Simple?

*winks*

By,
Vienna.


Just some Piece of Information.

Names	Fans Of	Hates
Looi Vien Na	Manchester United	Chelsea,Arsenal
Looi Hong Joo	Liverpool	Manchester United
Looi Hong Seh	Chelsea	Manchester Utd,Liverpool
Looi An Na	Everton	Chelsea,everyone blocking Everton from advancing from that 4th place

What happens on the *Big Nights* / *Match of the Century* / When the *Giants Clashes* ?
U do the imagination.

-Blog's In Maintenance-

Ergh...Bohoho? xD
Yeah I know me blog is in a *Super-Hibernating-Status*
Hahaha I actually got lotsa stuff to blog about.. (but Math Homework is taking its toll on me!)
*Puts up a Notice*
Do come back in 2days or so.. Upgrades and much modifications would be done,to serve u better in the future. Any inconveniences caused is very much regretted. hahaha xDD
(Actually right,ya know all the previous post weren't really complete.. hahhaha.. I was always Planning to come back n update it xD)

-To be continued-
Psst! For those who doesn't know,Its called Unsur *Suspense* muahaha xD That's the *Element* that makes those Top-International-Bestsellers kay! Im just applying it xD
So stay tuned~! xD

In the mean time..
I'll share with u guys few songs I'd love ^^
Some sweet and relaxing song..
Note: Some are back to the 70's songs,but I find these real pleasant to the ear and calms ya down.

When i need you - Rod stewart

Dilema - Nelly and Kelly Rowland

Firehouse- I Live My Life For You

More Than I Can Say - Leo Sayer


And a *Piece of Something* to Cheer Up ya day! Kick some boredom outta the Window~!

ANNIE BUDDY? Have Fund!

Lee Sum Wan : Hello can I speak to Annie Wan?

Mr. Sori : Yes u could speak to me.

Lee Sum Wan : No! I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Mr. Sori : You are now talking to someone! Who is this?

Lee Sum Wan : I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent!

Mr. Sori : I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?

Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was
involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe wan is being sent
to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.

Mr. Sori : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital
from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious
but I don't have time for this!!!

Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?

Mr. Sori : I'm Sori.

Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Mr. Sori : I'm Sori!!

Lee Sum Wan : I don't like your tone of voice Mr. and I don't care, give me
your name!

Mr. Sori : Look lady, I told you already I'm Sori! I'm Sori!! I'm SORI!!!
You didn't even give me your name!

Lee Sum Wan : I told u before I'm Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful
my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the
company. He is Noe Buddy!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

YEAY! I WON I WON! =D

WOOHOO~
I WON MY MATCH TODAY!
*jumps around* We had *GROUP HUGS* ONCE I GOT OUT FROM THE COURT!
LURVE YA ALL Laa! BWAHAHA~ YESH la! Thanks U people! woohoo..
Thx for the non-stop Cheering+ 'Go Vienna's~ I heard ya guys even from inside the court! ^^
weeee~ I beat the Queens Girl from Singapore =D

But still,my team lost as Im the only one who won in my team,so its a 1-3. xD
The game was tough for me xD,we played all 5 games - It was a best of 5.
7-9, 9-1i like this one, 9-4, 7-9, 9-7.
Lessons learned:
1. Stress+Pressure kills.
2. Being nervous doesn't helps.
3. Just Calm+Relax yourself before every serves. Believing that u can take every shots.

I guess I was too tensed up during the furst 2 matches against Beauty Babes+Squashers. To the extend that this time around,the Gals were like saying "Where have u BEEN,ALL this while? Finally..U WAKE up already!"
I asked em if "I played real badly before this match?"
Without hesitating,Gheeta replied almost instantaneous "YEAH?! Cmon man,u CAN play way better~"
Okay la! THis time IM gonn WIN!! muahaha so I guess that's the sorta 'Petrol' that 'drives' me =D

And.. I've been appointed as a Manager. Its like this..
Leroy said "Hey,tomorrow We have to come out with a Performance laa.. For the whole Gang 11teams of 4=11x4=44."
"So how,who's gonna do it? Cmon we need someone to plan for the Performance"
Instantaneously,b4 I could reflect *all the Fingers* is coming to my way!!
@#$!*)@&!%^$(_#$%)@&%@)#*%)@#*$%*@#%(@% !!! Why me? *innocent*

xD oh well well well, Quote Nike's wheeze " Just Do it! "
Well there's nth I cant do right. muahaha~

So we were Joking in the car and came up with a PLAN..

Hereby Presenting..

Keep Your Hands Off My BALLS

Let the players play,

Let the players play,

Let the players play. .

The way that you swing,

The way that you move,

The way that you stare me across the court,

You carry Wilson Bags,

And you got your Dunlop,

You wear Nike Shoes, Sweatbands and Adidas,

Now I got what you need,

I got sponsored by Prince,

I got Prince Rackets hanging on my wall in my room,

I got a Model 03,

But it stays in my bag,

I got a gold medal trophy hanging around my neck.

And the crowd keeps saying,

The same old cheer,

The players keep shouting on me all night long,

They say “Aha, ahha”,

Keep yours hands off my balls,

Keep yours hands off my balls,

They say “Aha, ahha”,

But the records keeps playing,

The same old song,

They say “Aha, ahha”,

Keep your hands off my balls,

Keep your hands off my ball . .

This song is Copyrighted (c) 2007-9999. All Rights Reserved.

Muahaha~ We came up with that in less than 10mins. Sry Leroy,for the *Burpppp~* He tasted my burp xD ahaha!
Im gonna make them Strain their voice "U ALL,I DONT CARE HOW!" but EVERYONE MUST DO the ahha, AHHA part.. muahahah~ weee~! psst! I get to Skip College again 2moro = No need study for TEST!
And they have to do this while singing,Keep Your Hands Off My Balls *Flashs Squash Balls*.. Everyone together!